Thursday, August 6, 2009

Las Vegas Anniversary Experience

106 degree heat didn't deter us from exploring endless blocks on foot. We came to Vegas on a shoestring budget to see everything in 72 hours. Many of the common conceptions about the city were found to be true, and following are instructions from Emily's guidebook to Las Vegas.

On the name Las Vegas: given to a desert among deserts (Spanish for The Meadows), I didn't see any meadows... so I'm not sure what this is about. One surprise was all the empty property right on the strip, ugly and seemingly abandoned, and/or under construction and completely impassable. I thought the Strip would be totally built up with splendid structural paradises inviting escape into exciting cultures and places.

1. On gambling: Slots of fun $2 Blackjack tables. Find a friendly, novice group of gamblers in it for a kind of fun. If you have to gamble--rule number one avoid slot machines. If you are going to play slots and want to find the old fashioned kind where you put in nickels and pull a handle and spit them out into a tray (if you manage to win) they have some right across from the $2 blackjack table. Bring a book if you want to hang out while someone in the group is playing. We actually played our money and won it back plus some. ($20 in, $50 out). After losing a few dollars on penny slots this amazed me! Also, plenty of places offer free play if you sign up for their players club. This is not recommended (you will be emailled for life). If you get some promotional money with no strings attached (or win vouchers from the street machines to play promotional machines inside) they rarely as in never pay out, but it may help get your fix for gambling out. I enjoyed sitting down.

2. Transportation (do not plan on walking everywhere in August), bring walking shoes in addition to cute heels you may want to slip on while in a hotel. I offer this warning on taxi-fares, you pick up buses from hotel valet areas. This means because of the size of most hotels that just to get to the main street from the hotel we ended up paying five dollars of the ten it took to get us back to our hotel. It proved to be of value in other ways at the cab driver gave us the information on taking the bus which was seemingly priceless (read the section about the bus experiences) at the time as we were limping home on sore feet.

The Deuce is a most remarkable transportation system. Irregular, understaffed, lack of communication. But I want to say more. The double-decker buses (some with horrendous view obscuring advert-wraps) with delightful air-conditioned comfy velour seats (if you are lucky enough to land one) are modern and clean. They go up and down the strip stopping at almost every major hoteldom. They have a 24 hour pass for $7. We discovered why this was a deal too good to be true.

It could be a perfect system, In fact I think an elevated train, subway or more complete monorail would be more appropriate. There are way too many people for the system to handle. The bus drivers were poorly trained in customer service (if at all), and the commuication about the rules of riding and payment choices were poorly communicated. In the evening when everything is really getting busy the buses are so packed they will simply pass waiting riders to be stuck for the next one. The schedule reads that a bus is coming every 7 minutes during busy hours in the evenings. We waited over 40 minutes to get a bus after getting kicked off from a very packed bus at a stop where they didn't let anyone else on (more on that in minute). It was just insane! I don't believe this was just a random occurance because we had the same difficulties every day.

The first night I met delightful people who brought out the worst in me. The procedure for getting on the bus is to enter through the front and pay, while the people leaving use the rear door. At this particular time, the bus was so full the driver asked if we had 24 hour passes and told us to get on the rear door. Now, by way of lame excuse I have to mention that it was hot, right? Late at night? We had been killing ourselves walking all morning, up since 4am. Suffice it to say I was not my most compassionate self and I met up with others in the same frame of mind and bossy to boot. A group of women were huddled near the back door and I stepped on as instructed, into the back door and grabbed a rail to stand. A lady tells me- you have to get on the front door! I reply that the driver told us to use the back door. I've already been pushed around by the bus driver, and now this lady pipes back, I'm claustrophobic! Can you stand somewhere else?

WHere am I supposed to go??!! I bark back. They are blocking the aisle if there was any place to go which there barely is behind them.

"In the back!" At this point words of kindness and good manners escape me and I shove my way past them without an 'excuse me'. Leaving poor Aaron on the other side of the bossy snoots. It was every (wo)man for themselves. I'm just glad he didn't try to defend me because I was feeding on their rudeness and dishing it back to them, very uncharacteristic, and unecessary, but it felt naughty-good. You see what Vegas will do to you?? Ha ha!

The next night the bus-full of people endured a ranting local drunk upset by the amount of tourists. The large angry lady was cursing all the way onto the bus and upstairs where she loudly cursed next to a sleeping baby, when the baby's father asked her to be mindful of the baby she got even more irate and we thought for sure there would be punches. The bus driver did nothing, at all, and several stops later luckily she and her party got off. They were all embarrassed and trying to calm her down. The bus driver sat in his little enclosure saying and doing nothing, but linger too long in the stairwell and you would hear them holler at you over the loud speaker, " GET OUT OF THE STAIRS!" ever so politely.

Later that evening Aaron was moving back to make room for passengers, and the back door was open, and the driver seeing him enter her camera view hollered at him to get off, assuming he had tried to jump on without paying. The whole front of the bus is hollering back at the lady after a moment of shocked realization and asking themselves, She can't be serious?? At the stop she refused to let any passengers on, and apparently she unbuckled her seatbelt as if to personaly escort him off, when we stepped off to avoid the whole bus getting stuck there. We made new friends from MN at the bus stop as we aired our grievances. And proceeded to wait, standing for 40 minutes for the next 7 min. bus. We were trying to get to Fremont Street to see an awesome video & music experience, and fortunately it starts every hour, 'cause we would've missed it due to the fabulous deuce. I guess you could say it's an altered reality experience in itself. Waiting for our last nightly bus ride home some deuce-angels gave us their unexpired tickets to carry us through our last day. In Vegas the ratio of good to bad is minute.

A word here about Shuttles, avoid shuttles and cabs that have all-encompassing wraps, especially on your first ride from the airport. You will miss the whole experience of driving along the Strip. I will applaud the city for its sky bridges (I prefered the enclosed ones), and Free Trams (Mandalay-Excalibur).

3. Budgeting: food, transportation, airfare, lodging, tips, taxes, entertainment. There is alot to account for when planning a free trip to Vegas. The riot of it was that we won this trip listening to a timeshare presentation. So we paid a $95 deposit (credited to our airport fees), and I scoured the fine print to try to follow the instructions perfectly. A month later they call us back and say, we have everything in order, we can't promise you a hotel on the Strip, would you like to upgrade your package, with show tickets, discounts etc. Also your flights may be at red-eye times? For a small $300 We can get you good flights and hotel. No, no, I answer, I want the free deal. Fine, fine, we'll call you with your final details a month before. IN July they call back here are the flights etc... they aren't very good times you basically get to Vegas at midnight and leave 2 days later at 5am. Yuck-I have to talk this over with Aaron. He calls back and the lady talks him into the upgrade. He won't tell me how much it is. I am mad because I think this is the company's plan all along. I wanted to believe in good faith they would deliver a nice free vacation, but they want to deliver crap and get us to pay for something even decent. On the phone she's all "I'm sorry but there's not many flights, this is the best we can do..." It all lines. This deceitful world ticks me off because I think we should treat each other the best we can, and not B.S. It confirms my feelings about sales people as a generalization.

SO you gotta eat, right?? Old Vegas down by Fremont street has the best prices for souvenirs etc. Buffets are all over but you gotta wait in line, and they aren't cheap. We planned $10 per person for breakfast(we made it brunch to stretch our money! and $20 for dinner. We went over every meal except MacDonalds. Tips, Taxes... it adds up.

Don't forget the Shuttle to and from the airport costs money, and getting around costs money. And fun costs money, mostly. If you're gonna drink plan a special budget for that! It is plentiful.

4. Hotels are more than a home away from home. They have strategically (read here, deviously) designed floor plans orchestrating you to walk through endless casinoes, attractions and wallet-emptiers of all kinds before you are relinquished to the street. If you want a pool you must be sure to ask about it before placing your reservation, to be sure it is decent size and near to your room, as there are whole towers of rooms miles from any pool. If a decent size tv is important, be sure to ask its size, as ours was pitifully small, fotunatley we never needed to turn it on. We found they were stingy with towels and shampoos etc. so whatever you do, don't assume! Location is everything in Las Vegas. Whatever you want, make sure you are close to it. The Flamingo has nice waterslides, & pool area including a euro bathing area. If you want a nice place to stay the posh places look fabulous. If you're not going to spend much time in your room you can skimp a little. We stayed at Circus Circus and it was gaudy and chaotic. Lots of big families with kids because there is an amusement park in the hotel. But surprisingly our King size bed was the most comfortable we've ever slept in. Nice pillows (only 3), It was nicer than our bed at home. And you need a good sleep after walking all day. We liked being in the Paris (we rode up the 1/2 size Eiffel tower on a 2 for 1 ($12). The outside area of the Venetian was beautiful and brought back memories of our honeymoon. We didn't see rooms at any of these places. Caesar's Palace was posh and Greek, Mandalay Bay was quiet and opulent (touted a beach but we didn't see it) and MGM grand was a bit dark but massive. The Bellagio has gorgeous fountains and interior, with expensive shops same for Palazzo & Wynn. The Excalibur was cheesy and smelly, but the show Tournament of Kings was authentic feeling and fun. Our favorite hotel to experience was New York, New York. There was a Greenwich Village section which we love--cafe's etc. We also rode the roller coaster here ($16 ea.) It was a good ride, Aaron's new favorite roller coaster. Mine is still Space Mt. and the Batman ride at Magic Mt. The Luxor wasn't much to write about. There used to be more interactive Egypt-attractions which are now gone.

5. Food: plan for a water budget (sidewalk vendors/walgreens) have the best prices. There are Denny's, open 24/7 but they always had lines. Macdonalds, has a nice cafe right next to Circus Circus. My recommendation is to ask the locals. We had a nice breakfast at Binon's on a local recomendation which was better priced than the Strip.

6. Free Deals: Sidewalk vendors will try to offer you free shows or Bahamas vacations for a time share presentation (You must meet certain qualifications to be eligible. When they start asking you, are you married, is this your wife? Stay at your own risk or run!) Potentially you could get a free something but you give up 2 hours of your vacation. Highly recommended are the Bellagio dancing fountains. I could watch this all day and they had different shows every time we saw them. Plan to miss the Pirates/Sirens of TI (Treasure Island) overcrowded and slutty. The effects were very cool, however. The Mirage Volcano eruption is neat, and the MGM has a lion habitat, where you can walk under the lions' glass floor while they sleep. The Flamingo habitat at the Flamingo hotel was nice, lots of water falls and exotic water fowl. Caesar's forum shops can be missed. At the festival fountain the statues come to life as it were, and there was an inept attempt at some laser constellations. There are shops around the Strip advertising 1/2 price tonight shows while they don't have tickets to the really popular shows (Blue Man Group), they can sometimes get discounts of 20% off retail. Beware vouchers for free shows. There may be a -1 drink min. ($9.95) Past the downtown Vegas, beyond wedding chapel row, is Fremont Street experience. This is a nightly show featuring music from the 60's and beyond told visually across a 5-football length screen in the sky. It's worth the effort.

7. Entertainment: Excaliber tournament of kings, blue man group, Cirque du soleil, magic etc. Circus circus acts, NY NY roller coaster, Mandalay Bay aquarium/ dolphin experience, magic shows. There is no shortage of shows, but 80% have an adult theme or bent. Choose carefully.

8. There is no place to sit down in Vegas except to gamble. This became apparent very quickly. Even in front of most of the elaborate hotels there are rarely benches to sit on. You are forced to go inside and sit at a slot machine to catch your breath.

9. Night crawlers: girlie/guylie shows, placards, posters, billboards, electronic billboards, driving billboards, and collectible topless cards shoved into your hands as you pass a row of scurvy dogs at night. So although we thought we could avoid being visually assaulted (particularly men), it was impossible, period. The only upside is if you just want great quality entertainment there are few choices, so it is relatively easy to fill a few evenings. Of course I expected this to a degree but I thought Vegas had cleaned up a bit...

We felt safe in Vegas even in a dark bus-stop in front of an empty lot at the end of the strip at 1am.

10. A note to claustrophobic people regarding Las Vegas. Do not take the bus. Do not watch Pirates of Treasure Island, Do not walk on street at night. Do not stay at Old hotels on strip, Make sure you have an assigned seat at a show and show up just 5 min. before, make reservations for dinner, plan to spend alot more for these options.

If you cannot keep yourself from visiting Vegas consider your goals before you go. You really do not need more than 72 hours if you are just sightseeing and losing money. If you want to relax there are a billion more delightful places to go, if you want to gamble, find the most wonderful hotel for your preferences and stay there. Take a cab, go to a show hang out by the pool if you want to turn brown, be mindful of the kind of people you want to rub shoulders with when choosing your environment. Ask the locals for food recommendations, show suggestions and ideas. (a cab driver is helpful) someone who doesn't have a vested interest.

A special thank you to the concierge at the MGM grand for actually being of assistance in the area of the complimentary attractions department!

So we've done it, and we don't have a reason to ever go back. I enjoyed my time away from real life, exploring a kind of new culture, and learning some wiles. The best thing about being in Vegas was being with Aaron, my best traveling buddy and Love. It just goes to show that it doesn't matter where you go, it's who you're with that makes a place wonderful.