Christian Unschooling

I've just finished this book today...

"teaching is not a matter of me taking what I know and forcing it into children.  The best way to learn is not for the children to remain passive while I teach.  The author of Wisdom's Way of Learning says this causes the child to "lose interest in real learning and develop an appetite for all kinds of passive, entertaining media...true education will occur as the student procures the knowledge for himself."

Aaron and I are natural teachers and unschooling comes naturally.  But I wonder if I should take it farther every time I hit restrictions from the school.  "Your child can only take one book from the library, you have to take these level of books, you 'guess and go' spell."

They don't hate school, but there are parts that seem a waste of time.  Still, while they are getting babysat and practicing school, I have time to pursue my education that I missed out on while attending public school. Ha ha!

If you're interested check out "unschooling."

What I'm up to

  It is only fair for me to drop a quick note about what I've been up to...


1. Weekly CSA (Community Supported Agriculture), means I'm driving to Whistling Train Farm, very nearby in Kent and picking up pesticide & chemical free veggies.  Also means I am figuring out what to do with them--think Kale and Chard enchiladas.


2. 5 year old am kindergartener  comes home at 11:35 every morning, ready for some of my time... YES! I do want to read with you--the dishes will have to wait.  And he wants lots of playdates so... I have weeks full of friends and weeks of recovery.


3.  Looking into training as a massage therapist... books from the library, internet research, experiment on Aaron, visit local programs.


4. Unschooling... got books from library but haven't been able to crack them yet... how to educate my kids in the off time with real life, and how to fill the gaps the school leaves while keeping learning fun!


5. Organic food research... how to cook those sauces that make any food taste yummy- thai broccoli for Ian.  Noodles that everyone loves... more recipe books... oops, a few things that didn't turn out yummy, and why did I buy ingredients for celery soup when I don't really like celery to start with?  How to make that curry no one liked the first time, so I froze the leftovers, taste better the second time around?


6.  SO I am really busy, and the dishwasher didn't get the memo, nor the washing machine.  I need time off to research.


7.  And I have a budding hobby as a "Barlow Girl".  I am trying to find an electric guitar & amp, 'cause the acoustic just isn't doing it for me anymore...ha ha!

Amazing Salad

I took the time to make myself a beautiful salad last week for lunch.
radish
cabbage
chicken (only a little on top, like bacon bits)
raisins
almonds
kidney beans
shredded carrots
mushrooms
tomatoes
spinach
butter lettuce
green onion
with my favorite Newman's poppyseed dressing.
I'm trying to find the picture I took... and I ate it all--the entire plateful.  It wasn't filling like meat... but I knew it was enough to eat, so that was my lunch.  I am proud of myself, more for my work of art... the colors were so lovely together.

Don't know what to say

I want to write--I have some time, but I don't know what to say.
It's been awhile, the leaves are turning, time passes.
Each day seems significant, when you have a goal.

Benjamin was a dream child two days ago, zero complaining as he did his jobs, loving and happy.  He smiled.  This is my greatest blessing.  Yesterday it started to wear off, a little bickering with his brother.  I am trying to be more intentional about hugging him whenever I am near him, it seems to help.

Ian has a good grasp of humor, and timing.  He definitely makes us laugh.  He has an extremely keen memory, so he collects a lot of lines from movies and books and uses them very appropriately in conversation.  It is always surprising.

Aaron & I are going away for some family scheduling.  Pray & Plan retreat.  A friend's cabin at the windy rainy beach and--he's bringing his surf board.  So I'll bring my book!

Drunk at the Colonnade

   Well we had quite an interesting time on a recent visit to this Seattle park.  The Colonnade is a mountain bike park under an overpass area in Seattle.  Aaron had taken the boys once, and they've been dying to go back.  So we made the plan, drove there on a Sunday and wow!  It was my first time and it was more extensive than I imagined and--steep.  When we were first there a few people were using the course at different points and an intoxicated man was hollering down below.  It seemed he was mostly hollering to himself, so I made a mental note to avoid that area.  Unfortunately he came up to join a small group of us around a tiny dirt bike-styled "pump track" where Ian was attempting some moves, and our first encounter with "Mr. D" began.

  We were a bit on alert because the park is structured somewhat "one-way" but there aren't necessarily signs directing this and lots of blind corners.  Aaron didn't even bring his bike because he planned on closely shadowing the kids constantly.  I'm pushing Ian a little when the heckler loudly says, "Ahhh!  Take the training wheels off, c'mon!!"--LOUDLY.  I turn in his direction and reply loudly "ZIP IT!"  (I might have even pointed at him) Nice, huh?
  Aaron is there in a minute and the other family with older girls, so I'm not in danger and feel a little bold and put out, and don't want my son to have a complex about his training wheels.  I'm too focused on Ian to really follow up on my command, but Mr. D wanders off after a few moments and sputterings.  Aaron says, "Did you really tell him to zip it?-wow."  I'm really not comfortable with that guy wandering around.  When we move down the hill to a flatter spot he is there in a nook still being loud, cursing to himself.  We don't want to give in to the baser side of life and leave early, after we've been planning this a few weeks, even though I really want to leave.  This park is not for him, it's for bikes, although there is clear signs of homeless habitation.
  My feelings are a bit angry for the situation which makes me uncomfortable in a place that is supposed to be fun and instead I am miffed at this intrusion.  Of course, we are trying to explain it kindly to the kids, when I am more disgusted inside.
  Then the moment of unwanted excitement begins and the guy starts making his way rather purposefully to where we are with our two small kids.  Aaron is working with Ian at the moment and I am a bit away with Benjamin.  He passes Aaron and continues moving steadily but not fast toward me and Benji.  I am planning on him walking right by and down the path but he slows and abruptly turns toward us.  I am not unprepared for this, since I don't trust him at all, but I put myself between him and my kid, and say forcefully (very creatively), "Get away!" Benji is transfixed by this weird guy and can't stop staring at him, not moving forward to get away, but just staying tucked behind me on his bike.
  The guy is older, bearded with a hat on and light blue eyes, weathered face.  One eye is hugely dialated and the other pupil small.  He starts mumbling stuff, but not advancing, he is perhaps 2 feet from my son, and I am up a ridge a bit from where he has turned toward us.  I reach out and with my palm on his chest, shout again, "Get back, get away from my son!"  he takes maybe one step back and Aaron is rushing over, Mr. D's gaze still fixated on Benji.
  I am trying to get Benji to bike calmly down the hill away, and I'm ready for a lunch break!  I am trying to get Ian's attention so Aaron can address the guy if needed, but he's kind of just riding without much care.  I am shoving Benji up the incline toward the car (he is moving--slowly and still staring at this strange guy).  I am calling Ian to come have some lunch.
   Aaron is talking with the guy, then increasing volume, "You may not talk to my son."  Then the guy starts swearing at him and calling us swear-names and Aaron pulls out his phone to call the police.
  "Go ahead and call the police..." Mr. D slurs.  Aaron steps away then and follows us up to the car while on the phone with the dispatcher.  Shortly several police cars drive up and later an ambulance comes and they put the guy on a stretcher.  The man made no effort to leave at any point.  He apparently had a burning desire to do the Catholic crucifix (pointing across your chest) to Benji.  He was angry that Aaron wouldn't let him share this... okay.
  It shook us all up a bit.  Benjamin just couldn't get the man out of his mind, and I think I added to the drama by being loud and abrasive instead of trying first to redirect the man, maybe, but Mama bear showed up and that was it.  Aaron was impressed by the fact that I pushed the man back.  It scared Benji to think I had spoken to a stranger like that, and he couldn't sleep that night.  He was truly worried after the fact that he could have been hurt.  We prayed a lot with him, and tucked him in with a light on.  In our bedroom Aaron related it to me over again, planning to punch the guy if things really got dicey.  I too felt empowered to protect our family because Aaron was there and I knew I had back up if the guy got wild.
  That's the facts and feelings of it, I wish it had happened differently, I hope it makes my kids feel safe in the long run, but it definitely gave them a glimpse at the real life a hopeless person could lead.  And what self-destructive behavior does in a life.

The Moonstone by Wilkie Collins

  This was a fabulous book!  It begins to disturb the reader just as the character's lives are becoming overrun with the difficulties of their own mystery.  It was written in sections as if the people are documenting their experiences surrounding a missing jewel as evidence.  Just as I was getting wrapped into one account it would abruptly end leaving so many questions unanswered.   It was written originally in 1868, but was very readable for that time period and I enjoyed it very much.

Writing Group

  I have a lovely group of ladies in my writing group!  We meet monthly to read each others' material and edit.  I always leave so encouraged and challenged.  I am a fast reader, but sometimes I miss details.  My mind corrects anomalies as I go, inserts a word etc.  I enjoy slowing down and being intentional in the editing process.  I have to challenge myself by asking, "how can I make this better?"  --to give my whole creative self to their work and add value.  It is a journey whose destination is publishing.  You really get an appreciation for the variety & validity of multiple perspectives.

Honesty

     Honesty is much more complicated than it seems.  I am coming to believe that loving honesty withholds hurtful truth.  Is it necessary, is it truthful, is it kind?  After all there is plenty of truth available... how about some kindness?

    

School Libraries

     My mother bear instinct has been aroused... again.  The thrill of getting three kids (one on loan) to two different bus stops in the early morning, after repeated reminders for socks, hair brushing and backpacks is, shall we say, not so thrilling anymore.  It sets the rest of my morning off with panic tainted rush.  Then my ace-reader comes home describing that he wasn't allowed to bring a book home from the library.  I investigate further...

"So what did they say..."
"Uh huh?"

They either said it was too heavy for his backpack... (What in the world?  His backpack only has an empty lunchbox.) or that it was too hard for him... which makes me want to roar.  I try to contain myself, I attempt not to cloud my child's perception that the school authorities are to be unquestioningly obeyed and revered.  But... but!!  This is INSANITY!

They haven't even tested the kids yet, to see what their reading level is, and yet they are making judgement calls.  And I could read it to him--but perhaps it is too hard for me as well!  I can understand for maybe kids who are left to themselves or something, but my kid is an achiever, and they just said--"you can't", "it's too hard!"  I get so incensed about this.  I want to sign a waiver saying my kid can have any book he picks... or call the librarians, or the teacher... or... hmmm?

I try to take a deep breath and think of the chain of command, or of going to the person who has offended you, or staving off the offense and giving the benefit of the doubt, asking questions; seeking to understand before being understood.  But all I can see is red and I feel quite settled on the issue of my child... they are all wrong.

Of course, not so, but I do try to understand the situation and the hint of the learning ceiling resounds like our previous school, but I won't believe it--yet.

Beginning Again!

   Here it is September, and finally I return to my writing spot.  My office is cleared of clutter, the house is clean, all temptations to distraction removed.  I have my cheerful fountain, Rod Stewart's serenade, and the gray sky is parting to peeking blue sky and white clouds.  I love to write.  It will be so delightful to get back to a routine which nurtures me.  Moms often end up giving 99% of the time.  The other 1% we're asleep.
   The summer was eventful, random activities and I learned something about myself.  I really am bad at math.  I took on the budgeting/allocating of funds... and I failed miserably.  NO overdraws, but despite my best intentions my mental rounding is insufficient partner to tightly managed money.  It really baffles me still.  I had a plan, I wrote out the plan... and then life happened and I needed to adjust the plan on the fly.  Anyway, Aaron and I worked on it together and I think we'll keep it that way.

     Listened to Michael Frost yesterday.  He is... a relevant pastor.  Aaron heard him at a conference and brought home CD's for me over a year ago, that I never heard.  He starts with a premise that he didn't feel like he fit in the church, and I have to admit, that is me completely!  I'm not drawn to anything "churchy" even social events.  When I hear a church service offered Saturday night--rock music--come as you are--that is intriguing to me.  I'm unconventional when it comes to "church."  Mr. Frost's solution is hanging out doing something you enjoy as a third place--somewhere you choose to be your community.  It could reinvent the idea of church for me.  'Share meals 3 times a week, bless the people in your community randomly and are spontaneously yourself'.  I really resonate with that.
     So the next step is where do we go--with whom... Because I am not an individual--I am a wife & mother.  I am now a clan leader.  This community has to be for my whole clan.  Something we all enjoy...  More on that as it unfolds.

The Non-moving Day

   The day after non-moving day is surreal, the following weeks have me waking up, half vested in my house and life here almost thinking, "maybe we will move today..." 
     Not wanting to unpack, my wasted days revealed.
     It could be in 6 months when his contract expires, or tomorrow if he gets a permanent job 3 hours away.
     So still there is the waiting, but the time has come for the dining room table to return.
     THE TIME HAS COME... for the air compressor and spackle to go back to the garage from whence they came!

Puzzling

     So we got out our one puzzle, as an effort to have some family time, without TV or wrestling (Earth day and all).  As it turns out, however, Aaron has a huge addiction to puzzles and he is a wizard with them.  The first night as I was cleaning up dinner or putting the kids to bed, or some helpful task, he and Ian went from gathering the pieces for the edge to having them all put together.  I was devastated!  I wanted to help. Ha ha!
     I lost interest then, feeling overwhelmed by the 1500 piece picture of South Africa, Blue water and scenes of the Big 5.  Aaron kept on.  He could not be pulled away to play with Benji downstairs.  The next day he sat there when he got home from work, and could not keep from plugging pieces in one by one, planning his strategy and executing it with precision.  On Saturday I lay reading the Scarlett Letter on the couch across from him, and he asked, "Aren't you going to help?"
"I don't really want to..." I answered honestly.  "Isn't my reading next to you like being together?"
"I wanted to do it together!"
"No thanks."  He never missed a beat while we spoke.
     A few days later I began picking up a few pieces as I would pass by.  Then one night Aaron was downstairs playing with the boys and I couldn't stop, I powered together the big 5 and was heading for the continent when I heard Aaron coming up the stairs, running late for a meeting.  Yikes!  Uh--dinner!  That night he ate and ran.  Oops!

Castle

The show Castle on abc is my one show I watch devotedly. As well as Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution. I enjoy Jamie's take on food very much & met him in South Africa as the Naked Chef. I have to close my eyes during opening credits as they show some grisly bodies. I love the interplay between Castle and Kate.

The Scarlett Letter

I somehow managed to escape the Scarlett Letter in school. Which is fine by me. I just finished it on Saturday. I cannot imagine having to read that in Jr. High, or maybe even High School unless in an AP class.
The plot and twist were interesting, but the minister was not very believable as a character. And the fact that the woman willingly stays in a place where she is degraded is weakness in my mind instead of strength. The freakiness of little Pearl, is disturbing and perpetuated, I think by her Mother's overdone seamstress work.

So Much Life!

So much has happened since I was last able to post. We emerged out of unemployment, but have yet to get our first paycheck. Aaron is filled with spending dreams after many months of saying "no" to ourselves. Dave Ramsey is keeping us in check. I reserve my generous nature, in secret anticipation that we may yet be in our predicament again.
I think I have always been a saver. I bought candy with all my allowance at times, like the next kid, but over all I have always felt the need to collect my money for something truly deserving. I love to be generous to friends in need or projects I resonate with, my generosity is in fact only matched by my stinginess at perceived waste of resource.
I hoped a bit, in our season of preparing to move, for new adventure--however trying. I am almost at peace again to stay completely. The casualties of the mad packing rush bear testament to my fervor. A return address stamp ($18), a set of rechargeable batteries ($6) and a Thomas DVD ($15). I do apologize for this--waste in its own right. The latter two were inadvertently sold with a $1 DVD player at our garage sale. AHHH! Could be worse, but not for a four year old. Who occasionally remembers with fresh intensity of tears.
My hope is certainly renewed, and I am thankful, each day is filled with so much life: choices, difficulties and at the very least at the end of the day sweet repose! What more could I ask for? Yea-even the chance at a new tomorrow.

Internet Academy

First day slogging through orientation, which is all text on a white background of steps to get started. Then a quiz (open site) on the steps.

Waiting and "refreshing" to get our submission back with comments so we can start classes which also haven't popped up. I finally call it a day and we do writing and a math worksheet.

Family Meetings

We have had several successful family meetings lately.

1. Meal behavior expectations
2. After school til bedtime schedule
3. Chores aka helping out Team Royce

I think it is essential to consultant parenting, with the stipulation that parents can over rule in the end. Then when the newness wears off we can point to the document and it is holding up--each of our signatures bearing witness to our agreement.

The Sneaky Chef

I have been using the cookbook The Sneaky Chef to get vegetables and other super foods into my kids, particularly one kid. And it is working, but I am also noticing that I am feeding them more chocolate chips to hide my veggies... hmmm, net health benefit?

Turkey burgers are the current family favorite, most other foods get the verdict (even if he liked it), "It's okay but I'd only want it--once a week/month" etc. In other words, please don't ask me to eat this leftover.

Because I ask for his feedback on food Benji seems to think I will actually adhere to his specs. He is surprised when after a tiring day meatballs from a previous meal reappear in Spaghetti, when he specifically allotted them a once a month status and he is eyeing the family meal agreement with disdain.

Home Schooling

So it is official, we are homeschooling through the public school internet academy. For the last two days we have been Mom-schooling, which Ian thinks is so cool, and although he appears unappreciative I have been getting alot more hugs and kisses (shocker) from Benjamin.