Ian loses his first tooth

Ian lost his first tooth at Costco while eating their pizza.  "They have really hard pizza," he said.  The second was to follow after about a week.  Refusing to let us touch it or even see it, when the second came out while brushing, he was relieved.  He took the dollar from the tooth fairy in stride, without too much excitement.  I guess having his brother go through all this already he figured he was just going through the motions.  What a character!

Winter at NW Trek

Winter at NW trek

Christmas Eve 2010 candlelight service

Benjamin with Dunning grandparents during candlelight service, I can't believe these pictures came from my cell-phone!  Below, Ian with his candle dressed in his dashing sweater!

Fletcher

So, I am now a foster mom!  To dogs & cats.  I just got my first dog adopted out after 9 days with us and 1 false start.  I am sure he is enjoying his new family and getting lots of attention.  What a great dog!

Now we have a beautiful family of cats!  A lovely mother and 7 kittens we get to name!!  We'll see if I am organized enough to profile them each here.  I've had them about 6 hours and my biggest impression is how much they poop and how stinky it is!
I call the mama "Selene" after my sweet cousin-in-law.  She is very gentle and friendly.

Organic Food Journey

We've been on a food journey.
I wondered for a long time what the big deal was.  Why did a roommate in college insist on buying Breyers ice-cream which was three times more expensive than the cheapest ice-cream I was satisfied with, when we were sharing grocery money?

I've long thought that the cheapest food was the best stewardship.

I was exposed to vegan foods during at a summer job in food service and then my mind cracked open.  A tiny beam of light trickled in... I wondered at this long-held worldview assumption that informed my buying decisions (get it for the cheapest price possible).  Is it possible there was more than one perspective?  (Like EVERYTHING else I have discovered in life... life is not only blacks, whites and grays.  Turns out, there are many shades of white.  There is a variety of good choices out there depending on the outcomes I want.  God is so amazing!!  So many choices and only increasing since the beginning of time with our partnership in His creativity.

I found out I had cholesterol on the high end of the spectrum.  We were unemployed, money was tight. I began to study foods that would be healthier, I stopped buying red meat...

Then money was no where and we got state assistance.  We received more money than I had ever been able to spend on food previously.  This allowed me for the first time to experiment with organic produce, and to look into alternate forms of protein.  I began to read voraciously and watch documentaries, interviews and how-to websites about food.  I spent hours in the bulk section of Winco, ventured into a natural foods store where I bought dried seaweed, and immersed myself in Fred Meyer's Natural Foods section.

My head started to hurt a bit, but in a good way as I became hooked on learning about something so fundamental as nutrition and how many people world-wide find ways to keep their bodies running smoothly.  As my mind began to open even more, letting in a stream of enlightening sunshine, an invigorating energy filled me to learn more, try a few things.

We tried out all different kinds of "milk."  We used Sneaky Chef to hide nutrient dense vegetables, fruits, sardines, tofu etc. in our regular food.  I saw Michael Pollen on Oprah and got his book from the library: The Omnivore's Dilemma.  We checked out Food Inc., and a harsher one whose title I can't remember relating to the treatment of low-wage laborers in the food industry; mainstream food system not only rests on animal cruelty, but human cruelty and violations of human rights.

I realize that I have judged people by their food choices.  Bad me.  Most of the world eats differently than I am used to eating.


We tried vegan recipes and discovered the Aztec's ancient protein Quinoa ("keen-wa").  We switched to turkey burgers.  One week I bought every brand of (processed) vegan bean burgers as I read Alisha Silverstone's The Kind Diet.  On principle it is easy to be against feedlots, caged poultry, pig tail docking... animal cruelty.  It's another thing to buy milk for $6 a gallon instead of $2 when you've used up your budget for the week.


Or maybe that's the real test of the strength of our beliefs and values.  What do I do when it really costs me?  This is my continuing journey as the food handler for my family and what I will pass on to them about food and about our values.  I am certainly passing on my curiosity, passion for learning and willingness to learn and try new things.


The real cost of food is the peace of mind for me knowing that I voted with my grocery dollars for the safest, healthiest, happiest food I could.  And hoping, trusting in the research that eating less pesticides will keep me healthier in my lifetime, and the planet healthier for my kids' lifetimes.

I feel good about that kind of stewardship.

Benjamin says to me one day (very diplomatically), "Thanks Mom for letting us try to be vegetarian, but I like eating meat." ha ha!  Can't beat that.  I still work in vegan/vegetarian meals weekly.  I plan the meals and try to cook daily, not relying on processed meal-in-a bags from Costco.  Food is one of my partners in raising my family.  I don't judge other people for their food choices, but I certainly am excited to share what I've learned and encourage people to think outside the box, and try something new.  Especially something that can be modified to your family's tastes.  In that way I feel like a food scientist!

Aaron gave me a gift, once we had the new job... He doubled our food allowance so we could make these choices permanently.  I still have to plan--in order to keep things within the guidelines, but his support has been priceless.  And he has eaten a lot of meals I was afraid of, myself!!  He's my hero!!

Tea

I have become a tea drinker.  Socially it is more supported than hot chocolate and I began a process to phase-in tea.
I began with Green tea, known for it's health-inducing properties.  This I drowned in milk and four spoons of sugar. (To be fair they were tiny South African teaspoons.)  I also steep it eternally, so it no longer looks like dyed water.

Next I tried Peppermint tea, purported by some to clear the skin...I even brewed a huge batch and made iced tea, sweetened with honey, sans milk.
Now I have come to really enjoy a hot cup of tea at lunch.  The weather being what it is, I can relax and have a cup sitting around, which I rewarm as necessary since the tea bag is a happy guest of my cup.  I am still generous with the honey, and if attempting to drink immediately I add a single ice cube to cool to drinking temp.  I always use my tea bag twice.

Now I can finally be considered an adult!  I had Good Earth tea over Christmas and it was very tasty!  A friend also shared a jasmine green tea with me, which was delightful as well.

Here's to tea and to personal growth, here here!

Weapons of Mass Instruction an essay on Emily's journey

The book by John Taylor Gatto published in 2009, was inspiring and eye-opening to my own condition.  My takeaway from the read was two-fold: 1) compulsory schooling including school regulation & huge bureaucracy that subsequently formed is harmful to the education of children . 2) Standardized testing as a measure of the system's success fails the all-around child by labeling them & holding them to mature identically.

He postulates with many examples & sources that what has made America great is under attack, and that by removing children from the influence of family and life education for most of every day to be schooled by strangers, they are ultimately being trained to obedient subservient life to "the man".  What made America great was our ingenuity, our independent thinking, our natural curiosity & problem solving.  Additionally he surmises that by extending the schooling years & thus "childhood" of our youth from seven years or so, to twelve, our young people are more immature and at the end still need time to find themselves, because they have merely been following a path set out by some compulsory power.

It is extremely worth reading. 

The alternative is basically some version of homeschooling.  Kids with their parents, being raised to learn through life's lessons, and the feedback (negative or positive) of life experience.  Even "doing school at home" may still create a workbook student, who can test, but not learn on their own.  He encourgages engaging student interest in their own learning by following their current passions with volunteer projects etc.

I for one do not see why students should have so many high school years.  Hormones raging but not old enough to marry and do something about them.

It opened my eyes to my journey.  In the last ten years I have been educating myself on the subjects of life and hobbies.  I thought when I finished college I would be done with school.  From college I learned that falling asleep in chapel has a direct correlation to staying up late socializing the night before.  I made wonderful friends, and then we all got married and moved away...to have our lives.  I began my education in Israel on a living in the land semester.  I studied hard, I worked hard, I was independent, and I got 100% on fill in tests!  I finally earned a grade instead of learning and working the school system.  School is about going through the motions.  Education is embracing  learning, propelling exploration!

In the last few years I have been learning to cook.  Deeply immersing myself in stacks of books from the library about organic farming, seasonal eating, healthy eating, vegetarianism, veganism and getting vegetables into kids.  We have eaten at Indian restaurants and tried to learn about their foods.

I taught myself to knit, or rather an elderly Asian woman at a craft-store class and a five year old Ryan, on a library video, taught me.  As a reference I have a pocket knitting for dummies booklet.  I learned mostly that unless it's sentimental to knit something, it is incredibly cheaper in materials and time to buy what you need.  So much for off the grid!

I investigated having pet chickens, but this is on hold.  Once again, more expensive than just buying eggs.

Throughout my marriage I have read books and attended conferences together to educate ourselves better about this opposite self.  Financial classes,  communication seminars, dance lessons!

Lately, massage therapy-is this a good career for me and is it still going to be after I pay $8000 and 8-12 months of my life investing in it?

And physically, I will have to be stronger to do it, so I invest myself toward yoga and core strengthening to consider the physical costs of this course of action.  Not to mention that I don't like exercise.

I have volunteered with my kids' classrooms, and it helped lead me away from para educating, or a regular school job.  So many rules, even at a relatively progressive public school.

Is "unschooling" for us?  I read a book about Unschooling for Christian families.  Trusting God to lead families' daily education of their children, and the Holy Spirit to lead the children themselves with their parent's facilitation.  It would mean putting my plans on hold, or it could be a part of a plan I couldn't envision.  This is the reality of education--the rabbit trails of life experience!  That is where the treasure and value is.

My children made a list over break of things they want to learn about.  I want to travel and take them to learn about The Mona Lisa, Graupel (hailish weather), pet cats and ? And for Ian, why does the world spin, why does rubbing your hands together (friction) make heat?

I think we'll stay at school, since ours is progressive, but it's hard to find time to unschool with them gone all day.

Christian Unschooling

I've just finished this book today...

"teaching is not a matter of me taking what I know and forcing it into children.  The best way to learn is not for the children to remain passive while I teach.  The author of Wisdom's Way of Learning says this causes the child to "lose interest in real learning and develop an appetite for all kinds of passive, entertaining media...true education will occur as the student procures the knowledge for himself."

Aaron and I are natural teachers and unschooling comes naturally.  But I wonder if I should take it farther every time I hit restrictions from the school.  "Your child can only take one book from the library, you have to take these level of books, you 'guess and go' spell."

They don't hate school, but there are parts that seem a waste of time.  Still, while they are getting babysat and practicing school, I have time to pursue my education that I missed out on while attending public school. Ha ha!

If you're interested check out "unschooling."

What I'm up to

  It is only fair for me to drop a quick note about what I've been up to...


1. Weekly CSA (Community Supported Agriculture), means I'm driving to Whistling Train Farm, very nearby in Kent and picking up pesticide & chemical free veggies.  Also means I am figuring out what to do with them--think Kale and Chard enchiladas.


2. 5 year old am kindergartener  comes home at 11:35 every morning, ready for some of my time... YES! I do want to read with you--the dishes will have to wait.  And he wants lots of playdates so... I have weeks full of friends and weeks of recovery.


3.  Looking into training as a massage therapist... books from the library, internet research, experiment on Aaron, visit local programs.


4. Unschooling... got books from library but haven't been able to crack them yet... how to educate my kids in the off time with real life, and how to fill the gaps the school leaves while keeping learning fun!


5. Organic food research... how to cook those sauces that make any food taste yummy- thai broccoli for Ian.  Noodles that everyone loves... more recipe books... oops, a few things that didn't turn out yummy, and why did I buy ingredients for celery soup when I don't really like celery to start with?  How to make that curry no one liked the first time, so I froze the leftovers, taste better the second time around?


6.  SO I am really busy, and the dishwasher didn't get the memo, nor the washing machine.  I need time off to research.


7.  And I have a budding hobby as a "Barlow Girl".  I am trying to find an electric guitar & amp, 'cause the acoustic just isn't doing it for me anymore...ha ha!

Amazing Salad

I took the time to make myself a beautiful salad last week for lunch.
radish
cabbage
chicken (only a little on top, like bacon bits)
raisins
almonds
kidney beans
shredded carrots
mushrooms
tomatoes
spinach
butter lettuce
green onion
with my favorite Newman's poppyseed dressing.
I'm trying to find the picture I took... and I ate it all--the entire plateful.  It wasn't filling like meat... but I knew it was enough to eat, so that was my lunch.  I am proud of myself, more for my work of art... the colors were so lovely together.

Don't know what to say

I want to write--I have some time, but I don't know what to say.
It's been awhile, the leaves are turning, time passes.
Each day seems significant, when you have a goal.

Benjamin was a dream child two days ago, zero complaining as he did his jobs, loving and happy.  He smiled.  This is my greatest blessing.  Yesterday it started to wear off, a little bickering with his brother.  I am trying to be more intentional about hugging him whenever I am near him, it seems to help.

Ian has a good grasp of humor, and timing.  He definitely makes us laugh.  He has an extremely keen memory, so he collects a lot of lines from movies and books and uses them very appropriately in conversation.  It is always surprising.

Aaron & I are going away for some family scheduling.  Pray & Plan retreat.  A friend's cabin at the windy rainy beach and--he's bringing his surf board.  So I'll bring my book!

Drunk at the Colonnade

   Well we had quite an interesting time on a recent visit to this Seattle park.  The Colonnade is a mountain bike park under an overpass area in Seattle.  Aaron had taken the boys once, and they've been dying to go back.  So we made the plan, drove there on a Sunday and wow!  It was my first time and it was more extensive than I imagined and--steep.  When we were first there a few people were using the course at different points and an intoxicated man was hollering down below.  It seemed he was mostly hollering to himself, so I made a mental note to avoid that area.  Unfortunately he came up to join a small group of us around a tiny dirt bike-styled "pump track" where Ian was attempting some moves, and our first encounter with "Mr. D" began.

  We were a bit on alert because the park is structured somewhat "one-way" but there aren't necessarily signs directing this and lots of blind corners.  Aaron didn't even bring his bike because he planned on closely shadowing the kids constantly.  I'm pushing Ian a little when the heckler loudly says, "Ahhh!  Take the training wheels off, c'mon!!"--LOUDLY.  I turn in his direction and reply loudly "ZIP IT!"  (I might have even pointed at him) Nice, huh?
  Aaron is there in a minute and the other family with older girls, so I'm not in danger and feel a little bold and put out, and don't want my son to have a complex about his training wheels.  I'm too focused on Ian to really follow up on my command, but Mr. D wanders off after a few moments and sputterings.  Aaron says, "Did you really tell him to zip it?-wow."  I'm really not comfortable with that guy wandering around.  When we move down the hill to a flatter spot he is there in a nook still being loud, cursing to himself.  We don't want to give in to the baser side of life and leave early, after we've been planning this a few weeks, even though I really want to leave.  This park is not for him, it's for bikes, although there is clear signs of homeless habitation.
  My feelings are a bit angry for the situation which makes me uncomfortable in a place that is supposed to be fun and instead I am miffed at this intrusion.  Of course, we are trying to explain it kindly to the kids, when I am more disgusted inside.
  Then the moment of unwanted excitement begins and the guy starts making his way rather purposefully to where we are with our two small kids.  Aaron is working with Ian at the moment and I am a bit away with Benjamin.  He passes Aaron and continues moving steadily but not fast toward me and Benji.  I am planning on him walking right by and down the path but he slows and abruptly turns toward us.  I am not unprepared for this, since I don't trust him at all, but I put myself between him and my kid, and say forcefully (very creatively), "Get away!" Benji is transfixed by this weird guy and can't stop staring at him, not moving forward to get away, but just staying tucked behind me on his bike.
  The guy is older, bearded with a hat on and light blue eyes, weathered face.  One eye is hugely dialated and the other pupil small.  He starts mumbling stuff, but not advancing, he is perhaps 2 feet from my son, and I am up a ridge a bit from where he has turned toward us.  I reach out and with my palm on his chest, shout again, "Get back, get away from my son!"  he takes maybe one step back and Aaron is rushing over, Mr. D's gaze still fixated on Benji.
  I am trying to get Benji to bike calmly down the hill away, and I'm ready for a lunch break!  I am trying to get Ian's attention so Aaron can address the guy if needed, but he's kind of just riding without much care.  I am shoving Benji up the incline toward the car (he is moving--slowly and still staring at this strange guy).  I am calling Ian to come have some lunch.
   Aaron is talking with the guy, then increasing volume, "You may not talk to my son."  Then the guy starts swearing at him and calling us swear-names and Aaron pulls out his phone to call the police.
  "Go ahead and call the police..." Mr. D slurs.  Aaron steps away then and follows us up to the car while on the phone with the dispatcher.  Shortly several police cars drive up and later an ambulance comes and they put the guy on a stretcher.  The man made no effort to leave at any point.  He apparently had a burning desire to do the Catholic crucifix (pointing across your chest) to Benji.  He was angry that Aaron wouldn't let him share this... okay.
  It shook us all up a bit.  Benjamin just couldn't get the man out of his mind, and I think I added to the drama by being loud and abrasive instead of trying first to redirect the man, maybe, but Mama bear showed up and that was it.  Aaron was impressed by the fact that I pushed the man back.  It scared Benji to think I had spoken to a stranger like that, and he couldn't sleep that night.  He was truly worried after the fact that he could have been hurt.  We prayed a lot with him, and tucked him in with a light on.  In our bedroom Aaron related it to me over again, planning to punch the guy if things really got dicey.  I too felt empowered to protect our family because Aaron was there and I knew I had back up if the guy got wild.
  That's the facts and feelings of it, I wish it had happened differently, I hope it makes my kids feel safe in the long run, but it definitely gave them a glimpse at the real life a hopeless person could lead.  And what self-destructive behavior does in a life.

The Moonstone by Wilkie Collins

  This was a fabulous book!  It begins to disturb the reader just as the character's lives are becoming overrun with the difficulties of their own mystery.  It was written in sections as if the people are documenting their experiences surrounding a missing jewel as evidence.  Just as I was getting wrapped into one account it would abruptly end leaving so many questions unanswered.   It was written originally in 1868, but was very readable for that time period and I enjoyed it very much.

Writing Group

  I have a lovely group of ladies in my writing group!  We meet monthly to read each others' material and edit.  I always leave so encouraged and challenged.  I am a fast reader, but sometimes I miss details.  My mind corrects anomalies as I go, inserts a word etc.  I enjoy slowing down and being intentional in the editing process.  I have to challenge myself by asking, "how can I make this better?"  --to give my whole creative self to their work and add value.  It is a journey whose destination is publishing.  You really get an appreciation for the variety & validity of multiple perspectives.

Honesty

     Honesty is much more complicated than it seems.  I am coming to believe that loving honesty withholds hurtful truth.  Is it necessary, is it truthful, is it kind?  After all there is plenty of truth available... how about some kindness?

    

School Libraries

     My mother bear instinct has been aroused... again.  The thrill of getting three kids (one on loan) to two different bus stops in the early morning, after repeated reminders for socks, hair brushing and backpacks is, shall we say, not so thrilling anymore.  It sets the rest of my morning off with panic tainted rush.  Then my ace-reader comes home describing that he wasn't allowed to bring a book home from the library.  I investigate further...

"So what did they say..."
"Uh huh?"

They either said it was too heavy for his backpack... (What in the world?  His backpack only has an empty lunchbox.) or that it was too hard for him... which makes me want to roar.  I try to contain myself, I attempt not to cloud my child's perception that the school authorities are to be unquestioningly obeyed and revered.  But... but!!  This is INSANITY!

They haven't even tested the kids yet, to see what their reading level is, and yet they are making judgement calls.  And I could read it to him--but perhaps it is too hard for me as well!  I can understand for maybe kids who are left to themselves or something, but my kid is an achiever, and they just said--"you can't", "it's too hard!"  I get so incensed about this.  I want to sign a waiver saying my kid can have any book he picks... or call the librarians, or the teacher... or... hmmm?

I try to take a deep breath and think of the chain of command, or of going to the person who has offended you, or staving off the offense and giving the benefit of the doubt, asking questions; seeking to understand before being understood.  But all I can see is red and I feel quite settled on the issue of my child... they are all wrong.

Of course, not so, but I do try to understand the situation and the hint of the learning ceiling resounds like our previous school, but I won't believe it--yet.

Beginning Again!

   Here it is September, and finally I return to my writing spot.  My office is cleared of clutter, the house is clean, all temptations to distraction removed.  I have my cheerful fountain, Rod Stewart's serenade, and the gray sky is parting to peeking blue sky and white clouds.  I love to write.  It will be so delightful to get back to a routine which nurtures me.  Moms often end up giving 99% of the time.  The other 1% we're asleep.
   The summer was eventful, random activities and I learned something about myself.  I really am bad at math.  I took on the budgeting/allocating of funds... and I failed miserably.  NO overdraws, but despite my best intentions my mental rounding is insufficient partner to tightly managed money.  It really baffles me still.  I had a plan, I wrote out the plan... and then life happened and I needed to adjust the plan on the fly.  Anyway, Aaron and I worked on it together and I think we'll keep it that way.

     Listened to Michael Frost yesterday.  He is... a relevant pastor.  Aaron heard him at a conference and brought home CD's for me over a year ago, that I never heard.  He starts with a premise that he didn't feel like he fit in the church, and I have to admit, that is me completely!  I'm not drawn to anything "churchy" even social events.  When I hear a church service offered Saturday night--rock music--come as you are--that is intriguing to me.  I'm unconventional when it comes to "church."  Mr. Frost's solution is hanging out doing something you enjoy as a third place--somewhere you choose to be your community.  It could reinvent the idea of church for me.  'Share meals 3 times a week, bless the people in your community randomly and are spontaneously yourself'.  I really resonate with that.
     So the next step is where do we go--with whom... Because I am not an individual--I am a wife & mother.  I am now a clan leader.  This community has to be for my whole clan.  Something we all enjoy...  More on that as it unfolds.

The Non-moving Day

   The day after non-moving day is surreal, the following weeks have me waking up, half vested in my house and life here almost thinking, "maybe we will move today..." 
     Not wanting to unpack, my wasted days revealed.
     It could be in 6 months when his contract expires, or tomorrow if he gets a permanent job 3 hours away.
     So still there is the waiting, but the time has come for the dining room table to return.
     THE TIME HAS COME... for the air compressor and spackle to go back to the garage from whence they came!

Puzzling

     So we got out our one puzzle, as an effort to have some family time, without TV or wrestling (Earth day and all).  As it turns out, however, Aaron has a huge addiction to puzzles and he is a wizard with them.  The first night as I was cleaning up dinner or putting the kids to bed, or some helpful task, he and Ian went from gathering the pieces for the edge to having them all put together.  I was devastated!  I wanted to help. Ha ha!
     I lost interest then, feeling overwhelmed by the 1500 piece picture of South Africa, Blue water and scenes of the Big 5.  Aaron kept on.  He could not be pulled away to play with Benji downstairs.  The next day he sat there when he got home from work, and could not keep from plugging pieces in one by one, planning his strategy and executing it with precision.  On Saturday I lay reading the Scarlett Letter on the couch across from him, and he asked, "Aren't you going to help?"
"I don't really want to..." I answered honestly.  "Isn't my reading next to you like being together?"
"I wanted to do it together!"
"No thanks."  He never missed a beat while we spoke.
     A few days later I began picking up a few pieces as I would pass by.  Then one night Aaron was downstairs playing with the boys and I couldn't stop, I powered together the big 5 and was heading for the continent when I heard Aaron coming up the stairs, running late for a meeting.  Yikes!  Uh--dinner!  That night he ate and ran.  Oops!

Castle

The show Castle on abc is my one show I watch devotedly. As well as Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution. I enjoy Jamie's take on food very much & met him in South Africa as the Naked Chef. I have to close my eyes during opening credits as they show some grisly bodies. I love the interplay between Castle and Kate.